Buon Natale!

If I'm not mistaken that's Merry Xmas in Italian. I remember we said it all the time over there this time of year. Hope all is well for everyone. I've been very busy with the kids and just trying to maintain with Matt gone so sorry if my writings are sparse. We're all doing well. Not really much to report. I hope everyone has wonderful holidays and sending y'all happy thoughts for the new year. I won't send Xmas cards this year but hopefully I'll get around to it by Valentine's! I'll try to get all 3 of my men up to get family pics by then.

Matt's new job

Matt left this evening for Indianapolis to start a new job driving over-the-road again. This time he won't be leasing so he won't have to work quite so hard and for so long and he'll actually get paid vacation time. We've decided to go ahead and finish what we started before I got sick. We had a plan. Since then we've just been trying to get by and now it's time. I've really gotten used to him being at home so it's going to be a real adjustment again but it's not like he's leaving the country, like my poor little baby bro' :( and I can call him every night. We don't see alot of each other during the week anyway because often he's asleep by the time I get home. I hope to get an earlier shift soon. Well, really, we're all doing okay. It'll be nice to get caught up on the bills and have spending money again. My love to all.

More babble....

We're all hanging in there. I had a little meltdown at work yesterday and I think we figured out it's one of my older meds so now I can make an adjustment with that and hopefully I'll feel better. I'm still sore from my surgery on top of my regular pain. Just need to find the balance between pain and meds at work.
Matt finally got his short term disability approved; we're waiting for an appointment with another neuro-surgeon to see if they can fix his herniated disc which needs to happen quick because he only gets 3 months paid backdated to July 21. The last guy didn't even want to look at the MRI. I'm beginning to doubt this entire state has any competent doctors. Better I don't get started on that.
Thankfully I'm off today and I have a therapy appointment this afternoon. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Okay, I'm fine now......
Hugs and kisses from me to y'all.

Me and my shadows! :)

All's well with surgery

I had my laparoscopy on Friday. Everything turned out fine. I'm healthy; no illness causing the pain that they could find. (So Grandma says, "Quit yur complaining, then! ha ha!" Thanks Grandma). Once I recover from this surgery they're going to try some physical therapy and see if we can whip my muscles back into shape. I got on some new pain meds that are working very well. They make me a little dizzy -er than normal... but they take most of the pain away and give me a sense of wanting to do things again, get my life back.

Matt's neurosurgeon was an ass and blew him off so we're waiting to hear from another one.

We're having a cookout at the park today with lots of friends. Don't worry. I won't overdo it. Just want to sit around and drink sody pops and bond with my family and buddies.

Love to all! :)

BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES!!

The hurricane's a'comin! Actually, for the most part, it's already here. It's been really rainy for the past 2 days and more to come. The scariest part is the wind that howls incessantly, knocking over countless trees whose roots are soaked and loose from all the rain. I just hope this is the year I finally get my new roof!! ha!

My surgery is tomorrow and I'm kinda freaked out but I know it will be okay. Matt has a herniated disc and we have to go to a different neurosurgeon because the first one was an idiot (shock) and blew him off. Thankfully his orthopedist and staff are excellent and got us another. Hopefully I'll be able to write again in a few days after I recover. Y'all know I'm not Christian but I do accept prayers because I think any positive thoughts you can send my way are good, however it is you choose to do it. I'll send positive thoughts y'all's way as well.

Love to everyone. :)

Feeling better...

Sorry I haven't posted for a while, y'all. Been doing alot of sitting around feeling sorry for myself but I think I'm better now. I'm having to take my own advice: get rid of some excess emotional "baggage" (Kate) and do something different in order to get a different result (stop taking in strays that just want to take advantage of my kindness). Duh!

Poor Matty is still struggling with his father's death. He doesn't talk about it much but I know he's hurting. He's an orphan now. That sounds so weird. I really can't imagine what he must be going through.

I have surgery on September 1st, an exploratory to make sure all my parts are in working order and see if that last "doctor Dick" as I call her (last name Dickerson) screwed up. I hope beyond hope that they find something but I'm sure they won't, except maybe some scarring. Maybe they can go in and just fix it. It'll be one year since my initial surgery August 18. I'm still terribly angry about it....don't get me started!

Anyway, Matt had an MRI on his neck to see if he might need surgery as well. I'll let you all know how that turns out. Between the two of us we MIGHT have one full working body! I hate aging!

Well, gotta go to yucky ol' work to pay for all this nonsense. Love to all!

A sad loss

As many of you know by now, Matt's dad passed away last weekend very unexpectedly. He dropped dead instantly of a massive heart attack. He didn't even have time to grab his cell phone which was still on his belt. I suppose if one must go then that's the way to do it....(or like my great Aunt Elsie just go to bed one night and not wake up). At least he was active to the end. He was out in the yard digging a spot under the porch where he could store his new playtoy...some sort of tractor that he could use to keep his wooded trails clear.

We got back from Michigan on Saturday but we're all still moving very slowly. Alex had another funeral to go to yesterday. His best friend's mom passed last week as well. I was going to go with him but I was not feeling well.

Sigh...I have to get ready for work now. Love to all :)

p.s. You can view his story at www.lifestorynet.com and go to Troy F. Smith, Vicksburg, Mi.

Reply to letter

Holy shit!! I just noticed that it's only been 5 DAYS since Kate went in! It feels like a month! I don't know why. I told her not to call me until she gets out and she hasn't. I guess I just feel that bad about almost hating her now but goddamitall if I wanted to take care of a crazy person I move my MOM in with me! .....and that ain't just about to happen!

Letter to one of my dearest friends about our "lost" third.

This whole thing with Kate is such a goddam nightmare! She totally does not really want to get better. She just needed me to take over where Ted gave up. I'm just not willing to do that. She's in the hospital right now; has been for about a week and a half. Tried to....let me rephrashe that...overdosed and got caught. I don't believe for one second that she really wants to die, just needs attention, more than I can, or even want, to give her. Anyway, while she was gone, this kid Chris who was supposed to be looking in on Lucky, got caught with friends in the house smoking dope. So the landlord called me and fussed me out and I had to go down and get the cat, cuss Chris out, and hope they don't kick her out. Everybody in town is calling her a lesbian crack-head because she goes around bragging that I'm her "wife" (which I just kind of laugh off and tolerate) and she's so doped up all the time (whether on actual dope or too much prescription). I'm so stupid for bringing her down here. I know, everyone tried to tell me but I always have hope for people and it's different when you talk to someone on the phone as opposed to actually seeing them in person day after day. Unfortunately, all the things she got mad at Ted and her docs and friends and social workers for fussing her out about and she denied doing (ie. being a druggie, hanging out with a bad crowd, sleeping around with the most disgusting people) I've seen her do. She brought home a guy from her last stay in the hospital whom she met in the psych ward who turned out to be homeless and a total crack-head and totally used her for a place to stay and drugs. She "claims" he stole her drugs....maybe, maybe she took them. I don't know. I don't care. I can't take anymore and it's going to really hurt my feelings to tell her all this and hurt her feelings but I have to. I tried to explain "guilt by association" to her the other day. She didn't get it. I was talking about other people talking about her (before I knew they were). Now I have to think about what other people might say about me. And not so much because I care what people think of me but we're talking about illegal sh*t!!!! I can't get my family involved in that! I have impressionable young men at home and mine will not end up like Andy! That's so unbelievably harsh but you just DON'T KNOW how MANY times I've wanted to say that to her!!!!! She's always, like, "Well, what would you do if it were your kid?" ....in such a snotty way.... and I so desperately want to say, "MY KIDS WOULDN'T DO STUFF LIKE THAT YOU DUMB SH*T!!!"

sigh.

I'm back...for the moment.

I've been gone a minute or 2. Just working like a damn dog and sleeping like the dead. It's about all I can stand to do these days.
So yesterday, my stupid girlfriend Kate, ended up in the hospital again because she o.d.'d....again. I would say she tried to kill herself but it's not really about that. She does it for attention. It's so sad. I finally had a day off and had planned to relax but I had to run out to her house and make sure her cat was fed and let her neighbor in and get a key made. sigh. stupid. I get so tired of her constant drama. And then I had to pick up Matt from work and we had to run his assistant back up to Raleigh so when we got home I passed out cold for about 3 hours. I think I must be coming down with something because I just can't seem to get enough sleep lately. I'm telling you it's all I can stand to do: work and sleep and work and sleep. It'll be okay though. I'm taking to today off and I'm staying HOME!!

My men!

Here's my big 16 year old, (with me) taken way back when he was only 15...about a month ago! I think that's a nice pic of the two of us. Here's a good one of Jason (above) holding a sword at his aunt's wedding recently. Neither child is easy to get nice pics of. Alex rarely smiles and Jason, well, I usually get a nice shot of his middle finger! sigh. Boys: can't live with 'em, can't tie 'em to a radiator!

My but their hair is dark! Once upon a time my hair was that color. Now I have to color it to have any color. Acutally, it's been so long since I let it go that I don't really know what my natural color is. Mostly white, I suspect. (It is NOT grey, by GAWD!)

Too tired...

I had some really wonderfully profound thoughts but I'm too tired to remember what they are. I'll have to get back to you. Just wanted to let you know to stay tuned!

Alex had his 16th birthday on Saturday. Which is also Matt's and my 17th anniversary of the day we met. Yeah, yeah, so we weren't actually "married" until February...you can do the math!

What is the deal with.....?

...these ladies that go into a public restroom and start undoing their pants before they get into the stall?? Um, ewwww! And, like, HELLO!! piss all over the seat!!?? What the hell is that?? Males, I understand. They have to take aim and try to shoot straight. Ladies, if you paper and sit on the seat as mother nature made us then you wouldn't miss! Why would you hover anyway?? STUPID PEOPLE!!

"This is our only bathroom,
We try to keep it neat.
So please be kind
To the next behind
And don't mess up the seat!"

Early Morning...

What a wild week. I took a little time off to be with the boys and I finally got my fill of them! Thursday I picked up a friend of theirs and we took a picnic to the park. It was hot but tolerable in the shade so we found a table and ate and chatted and then pulled out the squirt guns! We had a blast! What got me was when we went to the store later for drinks they just picked and squabbled and ran around like a bunch of 5 year olds and by the end of the day I was ready for a break. I miss that! We were going to drive out to Wilmington where the kids' other friend Chris moved and bring him back here for a couple days but we can't get hold of him so we might just go to the beach instead. Break my heart...poor me...I have to go the beach...note the touch of sarcasm! ha!
Well it's 5am and I think I'm finally getting sleepy again. I had a nasty little hot flash that woke me up at 1 and again at 3. Either that or it's summer time and really is hot in here! We have to go out sometime this weekend and pick up a little window unit for Jason's room. Poor kid is sleeping on the sofa. Usually we just put both boys in Alex's room (I catch Alex with his AC on in the winter sometimes... he's just like Matt in that way...drives me crazy!) but they're finally too big for that. Alex will be 16 next Sunday and Jason is 14. Where does the time go?

Good morning!

I've been up since 3am. I changed my settings so you can all add comments if you like...I think. That's what I meant to do anyway. We'll see if it works.
I guess it's a slow news day...nothing much new to report. Better than drama. I have taken a couple of days off to spend time with the boys which has been nice. Alex is trying to get together a game of "Mario RPG" which is kind of like Dungeons and Dragons on using characters from Super Mario Brothers. I'm a bean-person magical healer. I'll write more as I learn about it.
I think I'm finally getting sleepy again so I'll write more when I get up. Ciao y'all.

Excerpt from "What would Barbie look like naked?"

What would Barbie look like naked? Admit it: you've wondered, too. Everyone has fantasized about Barbie nude. If you haven't, then you're the weirdo, not the rest of us. The Pope has fantasized about fully nude Barbie. Who can help it? From fashion selection to vintage collection, she's everything! Barbie! Unfortunately, she's a toy. Do you remember the first time you discovered that none of her good parts were drawn in? It looks like she's wearing a flesh-colored bodysuit.
Hey: I pay for the full Barbie experience, I want the full Barbie experience. I made the following prank call to Mattel to get the skinny.


MATTEL: Thank you for calling Mattel. This is Leslie, how can I help you?

HARGRAVE: I have a complaint about a Barbie doll.

MATTEL: OK, I can help you with that. Can you tell me the product number you have?

HARGRAVE: It's the Happy Birthday Barbie Doll.

MATTEL: And what's the problem with the doll?

HARGRAVE: I got her home and disrobed her, only to find out her body is just smooth molded plastic.

MATTEL: [Pause] Her body is smooth molded plastic.

HARGRAVE: And I read that she was supposed to be "anatomically correct."

MATTEL: No. I'm sorry sir, we don't make anatomically correct dolls.

HARGRAVE: She looks like a hood ornament. And I was disappointed, because I don't know how young girls are supposed to learn about the female figure from this toy. Do you know what I mean, Leslie?

MATTEL: No sir. I don't have a clue. I'll be glad to pass your concerns along, though.

HARGRAVE: Are you going to send me a Barbie that is truly anatomically correct?

MATTEL: No sir. As I mentioned to you, we don't make an anatomically correct doll.

HARGRAVE: Would you consider making one in the future?

MATTEL:N o sir.

HARGRAVE: Don't you make customized Barbies?

MATTEL: No we don't, sir.

HARGRAVE: I think you do sell personalized Barbies.

MATTEL: We used to have a doll you designed yourself on the Internet, and that doll is no
longer available.

HARGRAVE: Have you ever seen a nude woman?

MATTEL: Pardon me, sir?HARGRAVE: I said, if you've ever seen a nude woman, their anatomy does not look like this! There are markings, and hair, and other discolorations!

MATTEL: [Pause] Well sir, I'll be glad to pass your comments along.

HARGRAVE: So you don't sell one with the breasts and genitals drawn in properly.

MATTEL: No sir, we do not.

HARGRAVE: Do you think one of your factory workers would be able to draw them in with a Sharpie?

MATTEL: No sir, we won't be willing to do that for you.HARGRAVE: Please?

MATTEL: No sir.

HARGRAVE: She is so pretty. She would be even prettier with all three holes. That's all I'm saying.

MATTEL: [Complete silence]HARGRAVE: Listen, Leslie. She has pretty blond hair.

MATTEL: Sir, I can't help you anymore. And I'm going to disconnect this call now.

HARGRAVE: If I were to trim just a bit of her luxuriant hair, and delicately glue it to her pubic region, would that be OK with you?

MATTEL: Sir, I'm going to disconnect this call right now. Goodbye.

Then she disconnected me. Very disappointed in Mattel. I didn't even get to the questions about Ken, and his lack of a man-dong.You know, someone should try to make a man-dong for Ken. And that someone should be me.

Pic

This is my English friend Sheila, me, my new friends Susie and Eric, on my whirl-wind wonderful trip to Florida!
....I'm the cute one! tee hee! :)

Ahhhhhhhhh...

Coffee! mmmmm! Good morning all! It's going to be a wonderful day....just because I said so! I'm off in a bit to get my toes pampered and then off to work which I'm simply NOT going to let the a-holes of the world bother me! SO THERE!
(I'm stifling my whiny self that desperately wants to say, "Why can't I get a job that doesn't include dealing with a-holes!!!! Waaaaah!)
Anyway I'm just going to sit here and enjoy my lovely coffee and concentrate on creating and affecting my day in a positive way.
Fun news! Last night Jason said to Alex, "There's something eating the cat food. It looks like a rat!" Turns out it was Franklin, our baby oppossum that lives under the house. He's such a darling! We call him Franklin for 2 reasons. 1) when I was a teen in San Diego we had a huge oppossum that hung around the house call Benjamin, named after Benjamin Franklin. Well, I couldn't very well call him Benjamin again (for another 2 reasons*) so Franklin works well which brings me to: 2) Matty's middle name is Franklin. Once I figure out how to get the pic from the camera to the computer I'll post it.
(*I don't like using a first name as a first name twice and I had a boyfriend named Benjamin who broke my heart so that just will not do!)
Well, all, have a superfantabulous day and don't let the a*holes of the world get you down... again, because I said so! CIAO :)

My second post

Good morning, y'all. Hope everyone slept well. Good news on the homefront! I'm going to be an aunt again! I told my baby bro last night we know what causes that. His response? "Water." Remind me to take my own bottled water when I go to visit!

Other good news is that many of you know my mom has been struggling with mental illness and homelessness the last several years. She's finally in a place that will allow her some semblance of freedom, constant meals, and someone to watch her take her meds. I'm very relieved.

Have a great day! :)

Kari's First Post

Hello everyone. Not much time to post for my first blog as I have to get ready to go to work. joy. Just wanted to get something up. Hope all is well for everyone.